Together. Part 1

I don’t think anyone is better off by themselves. I’m all too familiar with the classic personality differences between introverted people, those of us who get our energy from being alone, and extroverted people, those of us who get a buzz from being around other people, but I don’t think there is a human being on this planet, whether they were introverted or extroverted, who can live a fulfilling life apart from being involved in deep and connected relationships. I’ve always struggled with the introvert/extrovert conversation anyway. I feel like I’m a little bit of both or maybe it changes with the seasons, but I never feel like I’m totally one or the other. Maybe I’m just…verted.
I think we were made to be in relationships. I think it’s a vital part of what it even means to be a human being. I think it’s even a more essential part of what it means to be made in the image of God. The creation of man is the first time the idea of the Trinity is even mentioned. “Let us make man in our image.” God is a Trinity, or at least saying that God is a Trinity is the best we can do to somehow wrap our inadequate language around what God is, but essentially God is relationship. He’s not just in a relationship; He is relationship. So, I think when we are connected in deep meaningful relationships we experience what it means to be fully human, but we are also somehow encountering God. That’s why some of the best times in our lives have been spent with close friends, even if we are doing something ridiculous, well, especially when we are doing something ridiculous. Some of my favorite memories are of me and some close friends hanging out in a kitchen telling stories and laughing until my throats sore. Life together is just so good.
So maybe we should be less concerned with the stuff that we have, or the stuff we don’t’ have and maybe we should enjoy more good conversations. Maybe we should take conflict and discord very seriously. Maybe we should be even quicker to forgive and not even bother with revenge. Maybe we should do more stuff together.

Our Year

This blog is WAY over due.

It’s hard to believe, but February 7^th will mark one year that Lindsey and I have been married.  It’s so hard to decide if I feel like it’s gone by fast or slow.  The first half of the year seemed to go by slow, but the second half was over in the blink of an eye.

It’s probably expected that I would try and tell you how great the year has been, but I don’t think I want to do that.  It’s not that the year hasn’t been incredible, because it has, I just know that no matter what I say, it won’t seem like I painted an accurate picture.  It’s like trying to describe what it’s like to listen to your favorite song.  You usually just end up talking too much.  I thought I would just mention my favorite things from this past year and some things that I’ve learned a long the way.

Loving a wife is WAY different than loving a girlfriend.  I was told at my wedding rehearsal by my good friend Matthew Elrod, that love would be somewhat redefined for me once I entered into marriage.  He was right.  The kind of love you experience inside of a marriage is no less epic, but it is less fantastical.  It’s more real, more everyday.  It has some dirt on it, and it kind of feels like your hands and your face felt after you spent the afternoon climbing trees when you were a kid.

The way I feel now about how I loved Lindsey as a girlfriend is kind of like the way I felt about riding my bike when I first got my license.  You figure it out.

Some of my favorites…

She likes my sandwiches best.

Her hair makes her head look huge(even though it’s not) in the morning and her slippers make funny noises when she walks around.

Weekly conversations that don’t have anything to do with schedules, chores, or finances.

Our dreams.

Healthy recipes gone a rye.

Mashin’

H.H. Gregg

Coming home.

She is the walking, talking proof that God loves me more than I deserve.  The first year has been good, great even, but it’s only the beginning.  Our best years will never be behind us.

Did You Miss Me?

I’ve recently discovered two of my favorite social networking fopauxs. (This is how the Internet told me to spell “fopaux”

One: When people post a status on facebook, immediately recognize a spelling and/or grammar mistake, and then repost the status with the correction made. It’s like the Internet equivalent to watching someone semi-trip over something and then act like nothing happened.

Two: When bloggers come back from a long hiatus and feel the need to explain why they haven’t written anything for a while.  (This is exactly what I am doing right now) Let’s be honest, how many people actually notice that we have been gone and do we really think that this will be the last time we will have to explain ourselves?

Anyway, it is good to be back! It’s hard for me to believe that I have been living in Ohio for over a year now. So much has happened, so much has changed and it’s only been 13 months.

It has had me thinking a lot about the passing of time. It can be unsettling. Now, I know I’m only 26, but it feels like I can still reach out and touch 16. Ten years feels like an afternoon sometimes.

Growing up is a lot like reading a really good book. I rarely finish a book, and at any given time there are probably 3 books that I’ve half-read. So when I actually find myself coming down the homestretch and about to finish one, I feel like I’m accomplishing something, and I like that. But then on the other hand as I’m coming to the end of the book, I can get a little sad, like I’m not ready for it to end. Kind of like how I used to feel after I watched the Never Ending Story when I was kid. I didn’t think it was supposed to end. Am I getting ripped off?

Anyway, it can feel like time really does just run through your fingers and we can be too distracted to notice it. There really is so much going on all the time, all around us. I want to learn how to soak it all up. I want to pay attention to all of it.

I do a lot of waiting. It never seems to be the right time. I think that is just a lie I tell myself so that I don’t feel bad about the time that I’m wasting. I’ve said this before, but I hope to live in a way that leaves the “future me” with hardly any regrets.

It’s good to be back. Thanks for reading.

Broken, Beautiful Pieces

Recently, I made a timeline of the influential events that have happened to me since I graduated from high school.  I have a hard time remembering when exactly certain things took place and so it was really nice to have them all sorted out and in order.  Over all I found it to be a really healthy thing to do and as a result I was confronted with how complex a person really is.

There is so much that goes into a human being, into the developing of a personality; there is so much that makes up a person’s life. 

Things that have happened to us.  Things that haven’t happened to us.

Broken hearts, soul-mates, dreams, losses.

We can’t change what’s happened and we can’t see what’s coming next.

Have you ever tried to explain to someone what a first kiss is like?  Or what life is like on the other side of where they are standing?  We usually end up talking too much.

In some strange way this isn’t depressing, at all.  It’s somehow breathtaking.

We are broken, beautiful pieces.

I guess I just wanted you to know that I am in this with you.

In the hands of a Savior, our mess can truly reveal His masterpiece.

Happening in the Process

I’m down there, somewhere

in the middle, underneath, after, and before

the shifting, moving, growing, breaking

waiting for

            the angst

                        to

                                settle.

I don’t like symmetry; I just want to make sense. 

Falling through the day like the music I hear; life on the tip of my tongue.

A patchwork of dirt, love, and bones.  Immortal.  Fragile.

A dream waiting to be realized; happening in the process.

I am His idea.

He is my Reason.

Psalm 139

Crackers and Fools.

I mentioned in an earlier post that I’m learning a lot about this…

“Guard your steps when you go to the house of God.  Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know what they do wrong.  Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God.  God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let  your words be few.”  Ecclesiastes 5:1-2

The Bible says that a fool is someone who does not believe in God (Psalm 14:1).  So a sacrifice of a fool is a sacrifice made without faith.  It’s not something that they actually believe in; it’s just something they do because they’re supposed to.  Tradition.  Religion.  Same old song and dance.  Aerosmith, yes.

My approach can be all wrong.  I read the Bible because I did yesterday.  I prayed because I’m supposed to.  I wrote because if I didn’t I would feel guilty.  

Life can taste like a cracker.  Encountering God is a big deal.  Sometimes I need to remember that what I believe is real. Sometimes I need to remember that I’m alive. 

Time to Time

26.  I turn 26 tomorrow.  I don’t think birthdays have ever been that big of a deal to me.  (My parents might tell you otherwise)  They are a big deal to my wife.  I can hear her wrapping my birthday goodies in the other room.  Have I told you how incredible she is?

Time passes in such a strange way.  I’ve always heard people say that time flies, and I mean it does, but it also…doesn’t.  There are some things that seem like they just happened yesterday but they happened years ago and there are others that just happened a few months ago but they seem like ancient memories.  I don’t know why it’s like this, maybe it’s not like this for you, but it is for me. 

I was right about 25.  I always had a feeling that I would get hitched when I was 25; I just knew it.  I’m glad I was right.

Some of my favorite memories were nothing like a favorite when I was in them.  They just kind of grew on me, and now, somehow, they have the nostalgia of a glass bottle of Coca-Cola or a Norman Rockwell painting.

I don’t know why I’m writing all of this, but I do know that time is precious.  We really only have so much of it.  I want to slow it down.  I want to pay attention.  I want to notice the smell and the texture of every moment.  I want to be able to recall my favorite memories for you in a way that you can see and feel.  There is far to much going on all around me for me to be worried about checking the time.

Here’s all the wisdom that my 26 years can offer, and I’m borrowing it from It’s a Wonderful Life.  “He who has friends is never a failure.”  Friends, I love you.  Have a great day.

Scratch’n Sniff

Lately, I’ve been forgetting which direction is hot and which direction is cold on the water faucet.  I have no idea why and no matter how hard I try I can’t seem to get it right.  It’s a good thing our shower only turns on in one direction.  I don’t think I could handle the options. 

I’ve been married for four months now.  There hasn’t been a second that I have not enjoyed.  I have to say that I’ve learned more about myself during these past four months than I had during the previous 25 years.  My understanding of grace has been deeply enriched.  It’s something like the difference between Sauder and IKEA furniture.  Especially when it comes down to putting the stuff together.  Or something…

One of the things that I love about my wife is that she reminds me that I really don’t need all of the “stuff” that I think I do.  I can be really materialistic.  All of that “stuff” really doesn’t make my life any better.  It’s just more to worry about, and honestly, it’s really hard to beat a good game of Monopoly with some great people.

I’m learning more about what Ecclesiastes 5:1-2 has to say.  You should check it out.

Creativity begets creativity.  I’ve learned that I’m not all that creative on my own.  I need to see what color crayon you use to color your sky.

Speaking of creativity, I’m looking for some fresh, new insight.  Anyone have a good read they care to suggest?

That reminds me.  I promised a few people that I would be more consistent with my writing.  You should help hold me accountable with that.

Last but not least.  I have been blessed beyond belief by the calling God has placed on our (Lindsey and I) life.  God is really up to something with this group of students and we are just excited to be along for the ride.

A Shot In the Arm

Most of the time it’s hard to read the Bible and remember that what I am reading actually happened.  It’s hard to make it real, or personal.  But a few weeks ago I was reading and it felt like I was there and if I wasn’t quiet enough I would interrupt what was going on. 

In Luke chapter 8 a man named Jarius approaches Jesus.  Jarius was the synagogue ruler, which meant he was a pretty big deal, and he was desperate.  The Bible says that he ran up and fell in front of Jesus and begged Jesus to come and heal his twelve-year old daughter who was dying. 

If I were Zach Morris I would say time out and freeze stuff right now.  Put yourself in Jarius’ shoes.  You’ve heard so much about this Jesus, and about all of the miracles that he has supposedly performed.  Could it be true?  Will my daughter be healed?

So Jesus agrees to go to Jarius’ house and on his way this huge crowd comes around Jesus and in the commotion a woman who had been bleeding for twelve years sneaks up and touches Jesus’ cloak and she’s healed.

Time out.  Again imagine being Jarius.  Things are looking pretty good here.  The miracles are real!  This guy is legit.  There’s a really good chance that she’s going to be ok… right?

In the next instance, someone comes up to Jarius…she’s dead.  Talk about a punch to the gut.  I can imagine everything moving in slow motion for Jarius; his insides drop, and all of the sounds muffle together as if he has seashells for ears.

Suddenly something pulls everything back together and clarity returns.  Jarius feels a hand on his shoulder and he is turned around to meet the fiercest gaze he has ever seen.  Jesus says to him, “Don’t be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed.”  The way Jesus says it doesn’t give Jarius an option, he believes, as if it was his idea in the first place.

This is the God we serve.  A God who speaks hope into hopeless situations.  These are the times when He seems to require the most from us, and yet at the same time offer more than ever to us. 

What a great God.

“Why are you downcast, O my soul?  Why so disturbed within me?  Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.”  Psalm 42:11

Internship

I’m looking for a guy who is interested in a paid summer internship.  You will be leading groups of jr. and sr. students in inner city urban ministry in Dayton, OH.  Email me at ncunningham@ginghamsburg.org if you are interested.